Seen too much!

I want to write this story .I just cannot keep it with me any more.It is too heavy a load to carry all the time and though no can call me as drooping , my shoulders have got a bit of droop in these last two years. I have second thoughts also , just not to write any where ( can't say what kind of luck do these things give about ) ... may be i just need to pretend that nothing happened that i have not missed or will not miss any one any more in future ..may be i should just pretend that i am very smart , dynamic girl who doesn't carry any load with her , throws off every bad experience away and keeps a smile always , like all the forward mail abt happiness ask u to do, ..like the tips abt 'how to be happy' teach you. May be there is nothing to be sad about like a third person might say .Only how you can take things like ..you see modern day girls are not like granny 's they just shred old memories without a tear ..and don't look glum ..they work hard to keep themselves busy more than some times 10 hrs a day ....they read so much , know so much..what do they not know at all....